I have wanted to die since I was five

Hi,

I’m not very good at writing personal things, but I should probably explain why my debut poetry collection is so explicitly about suicide. Buy Echo Decay please, Kith Books are so sweet and deserve money. Is this an ad? Oops?

So, ever since I was a small child, I have been considerably sad and probably autistic, but no one clearly cared enough about that to think it was a problem. Having a grandmother drop dead Christmas morning when you’re only thirteen feels like the most traumatic thing that happened. She died in her bed thankfully and not like in the morning while we were opening presents. I’ve just never really been a happy person. The world also is awful constantly all the time, Do you want to be here? You like Earth, what the fuck is wrong with you? Norm Macdonald - Suicide

I suppose the question I am asking myself is am I Lake or Moon? Am I the tragic suicidal boy or am I the boy dying to save someone else from themselves? (Which I don’t recommend doing in real life, don’t do anything like this a.k.a dying.) I’m unsure why I am writing this or if I even like Substack. I’m derailing my post, so Substack wants you to pledge some of your poor people's earnings for the climate BUT, there’s a crypto category on this shit site? Fuck off.

Anyway, if you enjoyed this short post, we’re open at Troublemaker Firestarter for Volume 666, (it’s only our sixth volume, I’m not old.) I guess I’ll stay alive to run my stupid magazine and to make sure I don’t make my mom cry. If you feel compelled to give me money for some strange reason. Buy a book, tip on Duosuma, or subscribe to this with money.

Do I even want to post this? LOL

Health - “Let the guns go off / Let the bombs explode”